My roommate and I celebrated for a solid 24 hours which is a real testament to the Irish given I'm an Italian Jew and he's Japanese and Black. However after a full day of liver damage you actually reach a point where you can keep consuming without any noticeable impact so I feel I can post with an undeserved level of coherency.
Our final stop of the evening was a certain bar I frequent that hires burlesque dancers to perform. The bar has a small closet-like stage whose walls are clad with silver streamers and lights. A few days a week, a scantily clad (sometimes wigged) woman comes in to dance seductively on the stage and occasionally remove an article of her already limited clothing. I can't count the amount of times I've gaped in admiration at these dancers in their tasseled bras and cut-off boy shorts. Throughout my visits, my fascination with the job had become more and more obvious and my conversations with the dancers had gotten longer and longer. Soon enough, I was actually thinking about it. I learned what dance school I'd need to study with, who I'd have to contact, and what a good stage name for me would be. One of them even invited me to the Burlesque Brunch. And the more I saw, the more intrigued I was. The more I watched, the more I felt I could be up there. I could do that.
I've always had a fascination with sexual women- dancers, strippers, porn stars, even prostitutes. It's been there for as long as I can remember. I was that weird kid that stuffed her training bra at 8 and watched inappropriate HBO shows behind her mother's back. I new from a disturbingly young age that women held this weird sexual power that men didn't seem to have. As if their lust for the female body overwhelmed them in such away that they lost control over their rational. It was... well there was no name for it. But I knew what it was. It was those sexual rays, that fire- but not a warm fire like that from the sun. It was a darker, more irresistible fire. A moon-fire.
Many of my friends are surprised when I tell them I love a porn star or that I want to be a Burlesque dancer-even if I may never get the guts to go through with it. It appears to go against everything I stand for- it's degrading, it's viewing women as sex objects and only taking interest their bodies. Well part of me wonders if they have a point. But consider this: a woman, hell, a person, is both mind and body. The goal shouldn't be to totally distract from the body, because that is a beautiful thing a woman has to offer. And if that woman can feel beautiful and sexy enough in her own body to share it with others then why is that bad? Why should we be ashamed of our breasts if we have them? They're not a device made for men by men. They were made for us by who knows what, so is it wrong to display them?
And then there's always that moon-fire. To be up there on that Burlesque stage with flick of a leg and a come hither glance is so powerful. To have that kind of confidence, that understanding of your own moon-fire that you can just harness it and dance must be so liberating. We aren't just bodies, but we aren't just minds either. It's almost taboo to discuss, but there is an undeniable power in our sexuality, and there's nothing degrading about that. Maybe that's why Burlesque was originally invented by a woman.
***Added note: I also believe that one reason men have subordinated women is because they are intimidated by the sexual power women hold. They probably figured (and accurately so) that if they could create an environment that restricts the woman to such extent that she is totally unaware of her own moon-fire, they could control her. It's worked for centuries, but if you ask me, the jig is up. So ladies, do us all a favor and spend some time standing naked before a mirror. Really look at what you've got. After all, it's pretty fantastic.