Now I would say, all good music aside, that Alanis is a pretty good-looking lady. But if you can find a single straight guy to make that statement, then hell, I'll buy you a Magnolia cupcake. You've earned it.
None of them find her attractive because she's angry and bitter and loud. And yet that's why women love her. And not just the angry bitter and loud women. In fact, I find the quiet ones tend to like her even more.
A certain individual read my blog, and for inexplicable reasons felt a strong sense of hostility towards me, and all of the sudden had very strong opinions on the downside of feminism. Now I have wonder what brought on this reaction. Is it because I'm now viewed as angry bitter and loud, and therefore no longer attractive? Or did he feel personally attacked or degraded in my written attempt to empower women?
What I tried to explain to him (before our phone call was so rudely interrupted by angry deer) was that just because we can be angry bitter and loud doesn't mean that's all we are. I am not a Man-Hater. I may get angry because I see a sexist commercial , I may get bitter because I meet a hot guy and find out he's gay, and I may get loud because... well, because sometimes I fall into a character called Kelly-the-Clinger and that requires some chops.
But I also get really excited to see a guy again after a successful first date. I get nurturing when someone I'm involved with is sick. I think it'd be really nice to cook a guy dinner for no reason, and I think it'd be really nice if he did the same.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm not an ice queen. I have feelings softer than resentment, I have colors brighter than grey. My goal isn't to create a battle of the sexes, its to establish a union that suits us both. I still consider myself a feminist. I still notice sharp differences in the genders. But I'm not saying men are dispensable. I think in the past women have needed men too much. But I still think we need them, just not in the same way. I think the genders need each other.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll be going off on an angry rant about our oppression before long, and I'll mean everything I say. But maybe keep in mind that underneath all that anger, I'm still a person who smiles at the prospect of love and sighs at the thought of a perfect kiss.