Sunday, March 22, 2009

Changing is for Animorphs

I was walking down the street yesterday when I passed a restaurant window cluttered with homemade ads and flyers. Being uninterested in 14 year old babysitters and apartments I can't afford, I continued to walk without taking much notice. But one sign caught my eye:
(it read)
getting your man to communicate and stay faithful: a seminar in behavior

To be honest, I kind of thought we were beyond this. But the more I talk to people, the more I leave stunned. Somewhere in the city there's a girl who was cheated on who wonders if she did something wrong. There's a girl who wonders if she needs to be better in bed when her friend-with-benefits stops calling. Even the great Carrie Bradshaw dedicated 80% of her hypothetical life to trying to change Big. And even after her "you can't change a man" episode, she still went back to him. Only this time, she wasn't trying to change him- she was trying to change herself. 

Is this what its come to then? You can't change a man so change yourself? It hardly seems modern, yet it exists in all the subtleties of our culture. It exists in self-help books, it exists in the subway ads, and lord knows it exists in every. single. romantic comedy from Grease to Legally Blonde. Yes Elle ditched the dick in the end, but girlfriend would NOT be a lawyer if he hadn't brought her there. 
And yes I do love both those movies. And no, I have not seen a more recent romantic comedy than Legally Blonde. But maybe if they stopped aiming to give little girls a complex, I would start funding them with my 11 dollars. 

If we try to change ourselves, we are accepting the label we have been given throughout history. We our kneeling before our king and bowing our heads and saying "as you wish, Sire." And worst of all, we are beating down the strength and beauty we have to offer the world. 
But what happens if we don't change? Do we end up alone, untouched and unwanted? I realize a relationship takes work and requires compromise. But I'll be damned if I'm left with the whole burden on my shoulders, I have enough knots in my rhomboid as it is, thankyouverymuch. 

However I do have to wonder, out of mere curiosity, exactly what we're supposed to be changing into. I guess I'll have to call the number I took off the flyer. 

Just Kidding.

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