Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Ps and Vs

Alright, I've had a rough day and I need to lighten the mood, so I'm gonna go with a really shallow topic that just happened to come up in conversation over drinks last night:

When it comes to words exchanged during sex, I have made it my policy not to judge. You can talk about Barney the Dinosaur for all I care- if that's what gets you going- that's your private business. 
But... Ah... I just... can't help but notice...

If you're having sex with someone and they make a comment about your vagina, how do you react? 

Male: "Your ___ is so_____  ."
Female: "    "
Female's thoughts: "...?"

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong here, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't do anything for us. It might do something for them and that's great! By all means! But here is what totally fascinates me:

If you're having sex with someone and you make a comment about their penis, they freak out. They love it. I mean I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on inside their heads so I won't make a cute little hypothetical conversation. But I think it's pretty safe to say it turns them on.

But why?! My vagina is a part of my body. So making a comment on its size, shape, or texture doesn't really excite me. It's like saying, "your eyes are brown." I know. And you can totally say it, I really don't mind at all. But I know they're brown. They're my eyes. 

So why is it so different for men? How can they be sexually stimulated by their own body part? It's almost like the penis is its own person; it has feelings and needs positive reinforcement to grow up big and strong. 

Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that. I don't judge them for it. In fact, I almost feel bad that they have that extra person to deal with. But every time I notice a difference between men and women I just have to point it out. I can't help it- it's like staring at someone's pimple when you know they see you. 

I should really stop that.


  1. While I do agree that men seem to jump for joy whenever someone validates their delusion that their penis is the best, a comment on a vagina is not exactly like saying, "Your eyes are brown." Think of it more like, "Your eyes are so beautiful."

  2. Huh. Thank you for clarifying that- I didn't mean to seem like I was complaining about vagina comments, they really never bothered me at all. I was just a kind of perplexed by their intention. But if it really is like saying "your eyes are so beautiful," then from now on I shall embrace them!

  3. I am proud to be slightly mentioned in your blog haha and lets be honest here, men say it for their pleasure. case closed.

  4. HAHAHA Ms. Rivers, I shall never tire of your quick wit and candor.

  5. I really wonder how Men in NYC expect me to respond when they comment/gawk at/on my chest. It's like they think that I'm unaware of my own chest, or the size of it for that matter...

  6. Yeah, I never really know what to make of that either. Lately I've been responding with a calm "Please don't do that. It makes me feel degrading." One apologized and when another responded with "but you're so beautiful..." to which I replied "But it really hurts my feelings!" In the end they all apologized, so I think I might stink with that approach for a little while...