Friday, May 22, 2009

Are Friends-With-Benefits Female Friendly?

Living in New York, I have found that along with bubble tea, relationships are quickly becoming a craze of the past. They have since been replaced with the "fuck buddy", or the slightly classier "friend-with-benefits." Right under my nose I see that endearing pink-wearing relationship-lover spend a saturday night under the covers with an old friend. I see a hand-holding, flower-buying boyfriend-type suddenly keeping tally of how many girls he can get to pull down his pants in a week. 

But here's the thing.
For some women, this is nothing new.
For some ladies of New York, this is not a change in tide. It's more like a lazy river. Still flowin' after all these years.

She never had an actual relationship with a boy. But most of her friends from high school were boys. And most of her friends from high school had bumped lips with her at some point. 

But what about when that sixteen year old grows up, moves out, and suddenly it's not just about bumping lips anymore. Suddenly it's about bumping other things. She doesn't know what a relationship is so she sticks to what she does know. Only this time the terrain is a little rockier and the stakes are a little higher. A lot higher. 

She wants to believe that men can be good and that they care. So who better to turn to then a male friend? The closer the friend, the more you care about each other, right?

But maybe it isn't that simple. Maybe there is something special about a platonic hetero-male-female relationship that could get lost. That can't be regained once the eh...bumping occurs. After all, once it happens it's out there. Like riding a bike- you never forget. And no matter how much time you take off, there's always that silent option of jumping back on to ride it again. 

Don't get me wrong, you can gain something from the experience. It can certainly have its perks. And at the of the day, it isn't even the fear of what may have been lost that gets to you.  It's the principle of it- the "why" factor. Did you do it because you needed some kind of proof that someone could actually be physical with you and care about you as a person at the same time? And if he ends up proving that to be possible, then why do you still feel lost? Like even if you wanted to search for something more... stable? traditional? you wouldn't even know where to start. You wear hemp shoes, you eat gluten-free food, but when it comes to men, you're still not sure what the healthy choice is. After all, you hardly have the resume. 

Well look at the bright side: 
Those vile tapioca balls are on their way out, and you're suddenly very much in style. 

No comments:

Post a Comment