Shit, they've fallen asleep. Will my typing wake them? I'll have to be brief.
OK, here's the deal.
If you took 9th grade bio, you probably know that women have two X chromosomes and men have an X and a Y. If you took 9th grade bio, you also probably have seen a picture of the X and Y chromosomes, but if you were busy daydreaming about how cute Benny looks without his braces that day then I'll remind you that the Y chromosome was smaller than the X. Literally smaller. And say what will about the bedroom, but in this case, size does matter. Turns out, because that second X chromosome is longer it literally has more room for genetic variation. So when men say women are complicated, they're actually right on target. We are more complicated- genetically. And all the while, women are complaining that men can't express themselves. Well, our aim's not so bad either given they physically have less room for gene expression.
And while I'm on the topic of genetic variation let me just clear something up about the common notion that men are more likely to cheat. Some men are. But not all men. According to my research, whether or not a man will cheat has more to do with Darwin than you. In order to assure the survival of the species (a funny notion now, given the overpopulation of our planet) some men are programmed to be monogamous and some men aren't. So when your best friend tells you "if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you" she's probably onto something. Except now it's not just common sense- it's genetic variation.
Alright shit, they're totally passed out and I haven't even changed my tampon. brilliant.
But if you're a giant nerd like me and you want to read more about this, just shoot me an email (A.firstname.lastname@example.org) or a comment and I can totally lend you my sources.
But finally, before I go, I'd like to say one more thing. If I believe this, then I have to believe that every nasty cheating-induced break up is the result of evolution. Well hats off to you, Darwin you've done it again. Thank you. I'm so utterly ecstatic evolution is part of my life. We may stumble upon that monogamy-man, but if you're anything like me, you'll pick the monkey with the cheat-gene out of the barrel any day of the week.
Maybe we're better off with apes.