Here is a letter I sent to CosmoGirl back in my teenage years (ok, that was like not even a year ago, but the ONLY perk of being 20 is pretending you're above being a teenager so I'm gonna milk it)
I have a new and fresh idea that I believe would make an excellent contribution to your magazine.
Like countless others, I have spent the majority of my teen years comparing my love life to those of the adored characters on Sex and the City. However, when I tried to apply Carrie’s advice, I often came up short. I recently realized why: they are in their thirties!
And then it hit me: there is absolutely nothing in the media for teens and young women who are sexually active, but not sexually experienced. I can find plenty of articles for virgins about how to avoid being pressured into sex. And my latest Cosmo gives a “how to” of tricks like “having sex against a wall.” But where do I look if I’m having sex, but I’m still learning the ropes? Who can I relate to if I have a problem like, “How do I get over the guy I lost my virginity to?” Carrie Bradshaw has been having sex for longer than I’ve been alive; so I don’t think her advice is truly geared towards my problems.
Here, then, is my proposition: A column or a web blog about relationships and sex for those who are new to it- written by someone who is also new to it- that someone preferably being me. Now, I am no sexpert- but that is exactly the point. I could write about my experiences as I live them, and finally give the millions of girls in my shoes someone in the media to relate to.
I know sex is a tricky subject, but my columns would be tasteful, truthful, and relevant. I am not trying to promote promiscuity or advocate sex amongst teens. I am merely trying to acknowledge that sex is out there, and provide helpful information for those who are already doing it or thinking about it. It may spark some controversy, but hey, Gossip Girl would not be such a hit if those explicit billboards were not hovering over Time Square.
Speaking of Gossip Girl, teens having sex is already portrayed in the media- just not accurately. When Blaire loses her virginity the scenario is hot, steamy, and utterly romanticized. For the non-fictional teen, a first attempt at sex is not about champagne and rose petals. It’s actually more like a science project. Isn’t it about time we stop expecting teens to go from the innocent virgins of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants to the sex kittens of American Pie overnight? I’d like to guide them through the in between phase as I experience it myself.
I would be more than happy to send you a sample of my writing if this idea interests you at all, and am fully available to meet in person in the NYC area. Please let me know what you think.
Thank you for your time!
Needless to say, said editor did not respond. And as I continue to grow older and more experienced, I can see my brilliant plan of being a teenaged sex columnist slipping away. But even if I can't write it then, my God, someone needs to. Sex plays too big a role in the lives of humans for it to go unexplained for so long. I am twenty and I STILL feel too young to relate to anything truthful pertaining sex in the media. So how must that high schooler feel who just lost her virginity?
Ok, here's my plan. Like I said I am no expert, and this blog probably reaches like 2 people, BUT if you have any questions/comments/stories deemed to awkward to discuss, I'd be happy to listen without judgement and respond with a personal story that would probably make your awkward encounter seem like a candlelit dinner. And if it's something technical, I can totally research it and get back to you. I don't know if that would do anyone any good, but I figured its worth a shot. So here's my email:
When it comes to the topic of young people having sex everyone just freezes up. I think it's about time we break the ice.