We have more access to sex ed. than any generation before us. We knew what part went where years before we planned on exercising that knowledge and yet...
No one knows what it is.
Our parents define it as an expression of love. Our friends define it as something to do on a Saturday night. The romantics view it as an advanced level of intimacy and the cynics as a power struggle.
As for me personally, I can say that at some stage of my life I've viewed it as all of these things. But the more I age the less I understand it. It seems that the goal of the modern, new age woman is utter detachment. Love is one thing, sex is another. It's fun, and liberating, but God help him if he dares to hold your hand. But the trouble with that is when you separate the two, it suddenly becomes very hard to reconnect them. If sex is just sex then what do you do when you fall in love? And more commonly- if you've trained yourself to box away your emotions, are you even still capable of falling in love?
But here's where the real injustice of it all lies. I love the modern new age woman. She's smart and funny and powerful and could entertain me for hours with her stories. In fact she'd probably do it over a really trendy drink I would never think to order. She's the cream of the crop, New York's finest, the lunch date you write on your calender.
But she's always alone. It's not that she doesn't want a relationship, she's just distracting herself until she finds it. And what's wrong with that?
Nothing, as long as she's happy. But I find she often isn't.
Please don't think I'm judging her. I've known her, I've been her, I'm certain I'll be her again. I wouldn't have a blog like this if I couldn't still smell the remains of her well-chosen perfume. But as I reflect on past relationships and ponder those of my future, I have to pause and ask myself, "What exactly are we striving for?"